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MYTH OR REALITY

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): Somali Women's Forum: Archive (Before Feb 2000): MYTH OR REALITY
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DesperatelySeekingRajuulJamil

Unrecorded Date
I'm at the prime of my life. Healthy,humble, and successful, but one thing seems to be missing.......... a significant other. This does not pose a dilemma at all its just that one must have an inkling of hope for the future. So where are the men! I know this subject has been beated to the ground many a times but it needs to be resurrected once again. I guess my question would be can someone truly find true love that idle soulmate who completes you. The movie Jerry McQuire brought me to tears when Tom Cruise confessed saying "you complete me". I know that life cannot follow celluloid produced in Hollywood and that a Somali man will not so kindly whisper those sweet words anytime soon,unfortunately. Or maybe fellas i might be wrong, inform me.

When contemplating word associations on my spare time settling often times finds itself categorized along with comprimising and that is not a path i am willing to take at least not without a good fight. So let me not get long winded on this ever so complex dilemma facing us today, but let me restate my query : differentiating fantasy from reality, how does one go about finding that idle soulmate? is it through trial and error as popular 'western' cultures suggest or is it by following logic 'wait and thou shalt see'.

This is for all the ladies and fellas in the audience who have been through the struggle that i have discussed above or are still part of the struggle.

We shall overcome-MLK.
this statement covers the whole spectrum of things don't you say!

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Sojourner

Unrecorded Date
Lol@@@@sis, good points though. Loved your MLK quote. How about leaving things to Divine Intervention?? If it was meant to happen it will, in the meantime enjoy la vida loca:)

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xirsi

Unrecorded Date
I never liked the slogan--WE SHALL OVER COME(by Mr. King); however, I instead like the slogan---BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY(by Mr.X)


First, it is the natural desire in a man and woman to find completeness from each other. After all, it is Allah who said He created between man and woman in raxma(love) and mawada(mercy), for they are garment for one another. Marriage is said to complete ones diin; ones happiness. If one does not have raxma and mawada, he or she is not covered OR complete, but incomplete.

So, how does one go about finding that idle soul-mate?

First, pray to Allah that He gives you a good man, then seek the help from relatives and friends who might know a good suitable prospective soul-mate for you. Don't just sit there and sign WE SHALL OVER COME and do nothing, but you must do these things, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY and it will happen. it is going to happen no matter what, for CALAF is written. But without patience and struggle for anything that is good, by any means neccessary, loneliness can't be over come.

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DesperatelySeekingRajuulJamil

Unrecorded Date
Sojourner;
Thanks for the positive vibes! humor is definetely the remedy por es vida loca.

Xirsi:
My militant brother. Bring those fists a little lower and take a deep breath. Your advice is well received! gracias! i definetely agree with you in terms of having patience and having complete confidence in Allah (divine intervention)as you so eloquently put it. I have realized the importance of having Allah (SWTs) guidance throughout my whole life and attribute that to the success I have achieved whether it be in the corporate world or my loving interpersonal relationship with those i love the most (my parents)))) love them! love them! alhamdulilah, may Allah bless all the parents of the world! Amiin.

Can you suspect that there is a BIG BUT coming....jokes aside! i suppose this shows that i still am human and need to be rewarded for my good deeds now not later not soon but now! i'm being a bit too strong yes! So you say to get the distant relatives involved, what if they don't help at all? what do you suggest then? i know its all about networking but if the network is missing severals links then you get a busy signal right! that was for all those comp sci people in the audience.

Still DesperatelySeekingRajuulJamil

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xirsi

Unrecorded Date
DesperatelySeekingRajuulJamil,

Since you want Allah to reward you with good deeds now and not later, I hope your eagerness in finding that special someone leads you to a right choice.

However, know though that good things comes to those who wait.....anyone one can be someone's significant other and you could get marry easily tomorrow if you wanted to, but you don't want to make a mistake.

If friends and relatives can't hook you up with a good suitable prospective soul-mate, then do little more networking and use other channels by any means necessary. Post your private email address on to here.

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DesperatelySeekingRajuulJamil

Unrecorded Date
Xirsi:
Thanks again walal! You are definetely a well versed person and what you are saying is a 100% correct.

I'm just being being a bit apprehensive and indeed do live by the belief that "good things come to those who wait" ..... as a result i have come to appreciate life and things people my age tend to take for granted! so if i come across as being someone who is in a hurry, then that is not a picture i would like to paint, or perhaps i'm deviating from the subject.

Leaving a private email.... i don't think so. I don't believe in e-relationships! that tends to be impersonal and people can fabricate all different kinds of stories......what do believe, what don't you! i want to be able to see the person that i will be investing time in.....you know!

Let human nature take its course! you know- I want to be able to feel all those chemicals surging within me! that feeling you get when you are attracted to a person! that pinch in your face...those gentle butterflies in your stomach.......those sweaty palms.....that smile that seems to stretch and stretch as the person walks towards your direction.......! hope that sort of makes you see the importance of meeting in person as supposed through the internet.

My query again; CAN YOU MEET THAT ONE PERSON THAT YOU ALWAYS DREAMED ABOUT! YOUR SOULMATE IN EVERY SENSE! SOMEONE WHO FITS THE BILL.....CAN ONES FANTASY BE REALIZED WITHOUT COMPRIMISING!

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xirsi

Unrecorded Date
Online acquaintance with an opposite sex, to me, is like preparing for yourself going to a blind date.

You never know what to expect from the other person whom you have not met in person yet, but through the internet, you and the other prospective person could set an expectation only after you talk over the phone and meet each other in person.

And I would think online communication with the opposite sex is better than being lonely with no one to communicate with, especially if friends and relatives can't hook you up with a good suitable prospective soul-mate.

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DesperatelySeekingRajuulJamil

Unrecorded Date
Walal Xirsi:
The alias I used might make one assume that i come across as being desperate not in meeting any man but that special one! and by the way i'm not a thrill seeker or adventurous as far meeting men on the internet. I like things to be organized and for them to take their natural course...you know what i mean. Maybe you can convince me otherwise. Tell me have you had a positive experience with meeting someone over the internet or having this "blind date"- if so do you mind sharing on how it turned out. Also i would like to know how your relationships have been O'Optimistic one (Xirsi).

Pais!

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xirsi

Unrecorded Date
Yes, walaasheey, your alias "DesperatelySeekingRajuulJamil" is an assumed name and it is the one that triggered me to suggest :

1:-- pray to Allah that He gives you a good man.
2:--seek the help from relatives and friends who might know a good suitable prospective soul-mate for you;
3:--patience
4:--Post your private email address on to here.

As for me, although Iím not that desperate in seeking NisaaulJamiil, Iíll seek all these things which I listed.

So far, Iíve prayed to Allah for a my soul-mate lady and Iím being patient enough to wait for her--that is until my back hurts again. LoL

Even thought Iíve not yet asked my friends and relatives to look for me my match, they always try to hook me up with ladies whom Iíve not yet considered, some of whom are not even in the same continent with me. LoL

About the online personals, Iíve not yet tried it, but unlike you, Iím not that skeptical about it and Iím not going to shy away from it. Iím always comfortable communicating with ladies in person and online.

Looks like you and I are in the same boat like many singles who come here, but we might or might not be compatible for each other. However, if you would have posted your email address, I would have sent you private email introducing myself to you and in order to find out about each others preference.

I would think those who meet online do these same things, but the truth always will be out and the other person who happens to be behind his or her computer monitor will not be anonymous anymore.

She or he can boost his or her imagine as much as he or she wants, but the truth will come out that day that he or she will meet face to face.

Meantime, though he or she can send elove messages to each other; they can exchange each other's picture; they can even sweet talk to each other over the phone, they can build platonic friendship; this will be the interval between the introduction and the first meeting, but the truth will be out that day they will meet face to face.

As I said, online personals is like preparing for a blind date and all you have to do is be yourself and know what you want out of the relatioship.

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DesperatelySeekingRajuulJamil

Unrecorded Date
Xirsi:
It seems as though you put alot of time and thought into writing your response! gracias.... my brother are you creepin' or just simply being your sauve ole' self! i don't know............it seems as though you are trying to solicit an email from me.......why don't you leave yours next time you respond...... but can you fill me in on paragraph/line 3 until my back hurts!

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xirsi

Unrecorded Date
Sister,

It is not that I put a lot of time or thought into it and yes I just tried to solicit your email address from you since you challenged me to convince you to do it.

But here is my email address. mxirsi@yahoo.com I'm always looking for new friends, even if nothing clicks. LoL.

Uh!---about the back, it is we (men) who get back pains; I think you ladies just get frustration. LoL.

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DesperatelySeekingRajuulJamil

Unrecorded Date
Xirsi:
Good to see that you are not afraid to admit that you tried soliciting my email....hope this discussion does not end here.

Pais!

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xirsi

Unrecorded Date
Pais,

Yes, I'm not afraid.

Since I'm availabe for communication, I would love to communicate with an available lady.

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
Qeys iyo Leyla kaloo noqona Qadir Ilah .......

Xirsi and Desperatelyseeking.....
You were meant for each other. Do write and let us know how goes!

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xirsi

Unrecorded Date
Anonymous,

We'll invite you to our wedding, that is if things go well between she and I, but would you sing that song for us---"Qeys iyo Leyla kaloo noqona Qadir Ilah ......."? LoL.

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DesperatelySeekingRajuulJamil

Unrecorded Date
Anonymous:
We shall see walal......if indeed i have "overcome".........LOL!

Pais!

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