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How would u know u are addicted to the internet! check this out

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): Ila Qosol - Jokes: Archive (Before Sept. 29, 2000): How would u know u are addicted to the internet! check this out
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ibtisaam

Monday, September 04, 2000 - 07:43 pm
You may be addicted to the Internet if...

You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-
mail on the way back to bed.
You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they
have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
You comment, while watching a sunset, that the image would be enhanced
with 10% more magenta and a higher resolution.
When someone tells you about a great new program and you're very
disappointed to find that it's on TV.
If while driving down the street, you are confused by the numbers on the
houses - they do not appear to be legitimate WWW addresses.
When you find it easier to dial-up the National Weather Service
Weather/your_town/now.html than to simply look out the window.
When you start using phrases like:
{HYPERLINK "/cgi-bin/compose?a=9681107361879998356&mailto=1&to=Hungry.must-eat.food.now@home.com&msg=MSG968043013.0&start=1428886&len=5897&src=&type=x"}Hungry.must-eat.food.now@home.com.
If you call in sick because you found a great new WWW site.
If you can type your top 10 favorite Web sites, by heart. If your fingers
quit moving because you've been online for 36 hours.
If your net provider suggests you try a competitor, because you're
exceeding 300 hours a month connect time.
If on the way home from work, you use your portable and cellular phone in
your car, to reprogram a Tomahawk missile, in flight, and redirect it to take
out the joker in the Cadillac who cut you off.
When your desk collapses under the weight of your computer peripherals.
If you try to press Alt-F4 to close your car window. You turn off your
modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a
loved one.
Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start
to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access
number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem. And you
succeed.
You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. You start introducing
yourself as "JohnDoe at AOL dot com." All of your friends have an @ in
their names.
Your cat has its own home page. You can't call your mother... she doesn't
have a modem.
Your bookmarks take 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.
You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem
and a laptop.
Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she
looks like.
Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy
another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can
chat.
Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.
Your virtual girlfriend finds a new net sweetheart with a larger bandwidth.
As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first
instinct is to search for the "undo" button You start tilting your head
sideways to smile.
A friend stops to see you since your phone has been busy --- for a year!!!!!
You forgot how to work the TV remote control.
You see something funny and scream, "LOL, > LOL." You tell everyone,
that after surgery, your mom went to ICQ > ......instead of ICU!
You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
You placed the refrigerator beside your computer...or put it in the
bathroom.
You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have ICQ in your car. Tech
support calls YOU for help.
You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out." You get a
second phone line just to call out for pizza. You purchase a vanity car
license plate with your screen name on it.
You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.
You find out divorce papers had been served on you 6 months ago.
You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant
message to.
You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore
button handy.
You start to experience "withdrawal" after not being online for awhile.
You say......."Where did the time go??" You sit on ICQ for 6 hours for that
certain special person to sign on.
You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
You end your sentences with.....three or more periods....... You need to be
pried from your computer by the jaws-of-life.
Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this.... "BRB. Leave
your S/N and I'll TTYL...ASAP".

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ibtisaam

Tuesday, September 05, 2000 - 06:17 am
DAAAAAAAMN I GATTA FACE THE FACTS TODAY IM SURE AS HELL ADDICTED TO NET THEN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

WHAT DO I DO??...........WHAT DOI DO??
SHOULD I GO TO REHAP OR SHOULD I LOCK MYSELF UP IN THE BASEMENT AND SMOKE MORE THEN USUAL AMD DONT COME OUT TILL I CAN THINK OF NO MORE CYPER SEX..........AAAAAAAAHHH SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!!!

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Original ibtisaam

Tuesday, September 05, 2000 - 04:31 pm
hi sis

are u absolute u are addicted to the net?!!! if so
u don't need to go rehab or lock u self in basement. all u need to do is get a help. I mean get someone u can communicate rather then communicating through the net. all u are using net is to communicate with people isn't then get real person or people.


and by the way why did you used my name couldn't u get u own name. no offend

peace and love

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